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Bae:  babe come over
Me:  I just put my bagel bites in the oven
Bae:  my parents aren't home
Me:  I literally just put them in the oven




i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore

i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs

"Bruh I just went to sephora and got the sickest shade of eyeshadow"
"Sick dude what’s it called"
"Monster truck gas fumes"



do you ever realize that there was a moment when your mom or dad put you down as a baby and never picked you up again

I told my mom about this and she walked over and picked me up I am a 22 year old adult woman

baby:  d-d-d-d
dad:  daddy?
baby:  destroy capitalism
karl marx:  nice


you know how you have those exs that whenever you see them now you just start laughing so hard about how fucking shitty of a person they have become?? ok so does anyone else get that feeling but with people who used to be your best friend?

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When you think you’re just gonna watch a cute/cool anime but then it gets deep